July 1989

8 July 1989 Saturday

Mike Pipkim and I dropped by the Radio City Lounge this afternoon to see John Merrill because I wanted to share with him my vision of starting a Radical Faeries group in SLC.  I knew that from his talks at Unconditional Support that John was into metaphysics like Mike and I wanted him to be a part of  this new group.  John said that the idea excites him and we needed to talk more.  From the RC, Mike and I walked over to Memory Grove to play volleyball there.  We were having a lot of fun and I taught several of the guys there the Stonewall Song: We are the Stonewall Girls-We Wear are hair in curls-We don't wear underwear-We show our pubic hair.-We wear our dungarees-Below our Nelly knees (168)

9 July 1989 Sunday

I went to my Quaker meeting today and it was good to be back among Friends.  Saw Rocky O'Donovan and Robert Erichsson.  I asked Rocky to join me in starting a Faerie group in Utah.  He said its about time.  So far, three of us who are starting up this group have a Quaker consensus back ground, Mike Pipkim, Rocky O'Donovan, and myself. (168)

16 July 1989 Sunday-

Rocky O'Donovan asked me over to meet a friend of his named Terry Trout who is a radical fairy from California passing through Utah.  We discussed paganism and Quakerism and how Paganism and Christianity does not have to be antithesis to each other.  The group I want to start is going to be pagan in the sense of coming to understand our place as Gay men in the natural and supernatural world but also for me personal I want to stay in tune with the spirit of Christ which I have come to understand as the Gay Spirit. The ethical teachings of Christ are as valid for me as ever i.e. forgiveness, mercy, turning the cheek, introspection, non materialism. However traditional heterosexual Christian dogma is anathema to me now.  I want to come to an understanding of the Great Mother and seek her love is helping me balance my male and female energies.  Christ as the male focus of true masculine energy is still the lover of my soul.  But I am done with heterosexual men's Patriarchal god of war, death, power, and destruction.  That is the convoluted side of the Great Matriarch. (168)

19 July 1989 Wednesday

I've been busy trying to get people interested in starting a Radical Faeries group here in Utah.  I've asked Rocky O'Donovan, Mike Pipkim, and John Merrill to come join me as the four pillars to represent holding up the directions of East, North, West, and South as well as the elements of Earth, Wind, Water, and Fire.  So that's in the works.  O'Donovan doesn't like the term Pillar saying it sounds too Patriarchal and I said, I like it because it suggests not only strength but support as well.  There isn't any Faerie handbook.  Part of the creation process is finding a new language to express new concepts and ideals. (168)

20 July 1989 Thursday –

Mike Pipkim  spent most of the day with me in preparation for tonight’s meeting and he read to me my medicine cards from the Sacred Pathway book on Native American shamanism.  I have nine totem animals.  They were the Owl, so that I might not  be deceived, the Badger so that I can be aggressive, the Ant so that I can learn patience be a community builder, the Weasel so that I can be wary, the Grouse so that I can understand the Sacred Spiral, the Horse for power, Frog for cleansing, Spider so that I can create, and Bear so that I can be introspective seeking the Kingdom of Heaven within.  The Bear came to me to be my Personal guide and main totem. Mike and I kept waiting for people to show up.  It began to thunder and lightening and it felt wonderful. It was magical that the elements were stirring.  About 9 p.m. Rocky O'Donovan came over to help officially form a Radical Faerie circle here in SLC.  John Merrill never showed which I suppose was the way it was meant to be as we later discovered.  My new apartment is at 19 A Street #42 and we went into the back bedroom which was unfurnished.  There we made a shrine altar where we burned incense and placed what we felt were important relics in the Faerie ring.  Rocky suggested that we shed our clothes and go sky clad as a symbol of shedding our every day cares, and thus lying on our stomachs, in a circle facing the candles we began the process of letting energy flow through us as a proposed to start to work to bring down patriarchy within and without.  We stated that our solemn purpose was to help bring back to the Utah a  harmony balanced between Mother Earth and Father sky. As we meditated in silence in Quaker fashion, I invoked the Spirit of Christ to purify my motives, and help me understand what I was doing. I asked for help in coming to terms with the gifts of my Feyness.  After the silence was broken Michael and I told Rocky about the medicine cards and how we felt strongly that having one's cards read and discovering one's totems should be the initiation into the Faerie Circle. Rocky readily agreed and he had his cards read by Michael.   Rocky's main totem was the Butterfly which was so appropriate for him since in Spanish Mariposa is a slang word for Fairy.  Michael had previously had his cards read and his main totem was the Hummingbird which stands for Joy. We also decided to invoke the Gay Spirit's Will to determine the focus of this circle rather than come up with our own purpose.  Thus we did a Butterfly Spread reading to determine a four year plan for the outcome and direction of our group's enterprise.  It was so totally different from what Rocky and I had envisioned and I am so grateful we asked for the Gay Spirit's direction.  Rocky and I originally thought of our new group as sort of an Urban guerrilla tag team,  spray painting pro Gay graffiti, putting up posters, and doing in your face outrageous antics. However the Butterfly Spread told us to seek another path.  Our Egg Stage or first year totem was the Porcupine.  She was to teach us to remain innocent, reminding us to become playful like children, harmless, honoring the Spirit which allows everyone to win.  Our Larva Stage card or the second year totem was the Squirrel.  He would come to teach us how to be gatherers and be prepared for what was to come next.  Our Cocoon Stage card or the third year totem, which was to be our most important stage of the evolving process, was the Ant. The Ant was here to teach us how to be patient, to be active community minded folks, and to be content to see our dreams being accomplished a little at a time.  We were told to use our power of creation to build a strong community until the illusion of Patriarchy melts away.  Finally our Butterfly Stage card or the fourth year totem was the Deer. She would be here to teach us gentleness and how to always use that power to touch the hearts and minds of those wounded beings who are trying to keep us from our destiny.  We were amazed that the Gay spirit spoke to our hearts stating that the ultimate purpose of this Faerie circle was to find a sacred space where gentleness would heal all wounds and where the message of the Deer's lessons of unconditional love could be heard. What a powerful experience! We felt so full of magick, medicine, power, and enchantment when we closed our gathering.  Before leaving however each of us agreed to become a pillar.  The Gay Spirit chose Michael Pipkim to become the Pillar of the Wind .  I thought that was so true because Michael can be so flighty.  Rocky O'Donovan was the Pillar of the Earth and I was the Pillar of Fire.  We knew all along that the Gay Spirit had been present at the circle and was the Pillar of Water or life until a new Faerie would be drawn to the call. We agreed that the next gathering would be the August Full Moon on the 16th although we felt like we ought to be doing a Faerie Circle up at Camp Rogers since the 5th is close to either Midsummer or Lammas.  I'm not sure.  We agreed in principle that we would meet every full moon to do magick and ritual and every Solstice and Equinox for celebrations .Tonight we have taken on new Faerie Names to empower us and to recognize the change in us that Magick has worked through us tonight.  Michael has chosen the name Puck after the Shakespearean Sprite, Rocky is Kyle Sky Bear, and I'm Gayflower Feare Naught which means fear nothing and fear not. What a sweet magical night this twentieth anniversary of foot prints on the moon.  Instead of flying to the moon we have drawn the moon down to us. (168)

21 July 1989 Friday

Still flying from the magick of last night but something bothered me all night.  Our group didn't have a name. I didn't feel like Salt Lake Radical Faeries really reflected the essence of the experience we shared last night. However while out walking with Michael Pipkim-Puck, south of the Crossroads Mall Plaza,  I felt suddenly impressed to call our Faerie Circle "The Sacred Faeries" and at that moment Puck looked down at the ground and saw the most beautiful butterfly sitting on the sidewalk. Puck gently picked her up and carried her on his finger as we walked for about a block discussing the name.  Puck felt that the Butterfly was an omen from the Gay Spirit.  Since Rocky O'Donovan-Kyle Sky Bear's main totem was a butterfly, we felt that it was the Gay Spirit's way of forming consensus for accepting the new name.  So we agreed that our name was to be the Sacred Faeries.  Later when Rocky heard the name he said we did good and he really liked the way it sounds.  (168)

23 July 1989 Sunday-

I went to Quaker Meeting this morning and sat with Robert Smith and Robert Erichsson, Rocky O'Donovan's lover.  Rocky was at a meeting with Liza Smart concerning their trip to Berkley, California to lecture in behalf of the Gay Historical Society of Utah.  After the meeting Robert Smith came over to my place and gave me some bamboo poles to hold up the banner I made for Gay Pride Day which is next weekend.  Mike Pipkim left for home to Moab for the weekend so Robert and I were alone to talk about the Sacred Faeries.  He was excited and wanted to know what he had to do to join and I said just have your medicine cards read which I can do.  Robert Smith was my first card reading and I felt privileged to do so. His main totem is the Dragonfly-Illusions however I think he mainly identified with his coyote medicine. The trickster or Loki in the European tradition. At 5 p.m. Robert Smith and I went to the Gay Community Center planning meeting which was at Jim Hunsaker's house since he is the chair of the committee.  Only thing really agreed upon was that we ought to look at buying a building rather than renting.  The next meeting is on Aug 6th at 5 p.m.. Later Robert Austin picked me up at 6:15 p.m. because we were suppose to do a program on K-Talk radio about Gay Pride Day at Sunnyside Park. Rocky O'Donovan was suppose to meet us also but we heard that he was out with Terry Trout the Radical Faerie from California so we left for the station without him.  At the last possible second he came charging in and joined us just in time. All three of us were on the Steve House's show doing live radio.  We had two negative callers but the rest were pretty supportive.  We were only there for an hour but I think we more than held our own.

24 July 1989 Monday-

In the evening I called Rocky O'Donovan up to come watch the fireworks for Pioneer Day from my apartment since, because I'm on a hill, I have a great view.  We shared gossip and news and talked about Faerie things.  After Rocky left, about 11 p.m. Robert Smith dropped by with two of his friends Marie and Troy Lunt.  Troy was excited about what Robert had told him about the Sacred Faeries and wanted to have his cards read too.  His main totem was the Crow.  We were up to two in the morning and I really like these guys. (168)

27 July 1989 Thursday-

I spent most of the afternoon writing up my notes for my Keynote speech for Gay Pride Day this Sunday.  Mike Pipkim had Steve Oldroyd over and was reading his medicine cards to him. (168)

30 July 1989-Sunday- 

“Today is Gay Pride Day. About 1500 people turned out at Sunnyside Park but there weren’t nearly as many booths as last year when Mark Lamar was in charge of booths. I spoke with Channel 2 KUTV as a spokesperson about why we have Gay Pride Day. I was also the keynote speaker and I spoke right after Councilman Tom Godfrey. I felt really good about my address as I was animated and Gay affirmative. It was a hot, hot day and I spent a lot of my time at the Gay Historical Society Booth and kept a look out not to run into someone I didn’t want to see. I found out from Dave Omer that he was here with Renn so I was a little anxious. The Youth Group asked if I would agree to have pies thrown at me to raise money for their club. I said sure and Bruce Barton was the first to cream me. It was rather fun until Bill came over with Renn and stood in front of me to catch my eye. I just turned inward and triced to space him off but the joy was gone. But he didn’t try to talk to me nor I him. Although at one point I was afraid he was going to come over to me.

Several hundred people attended the festivities at Sunnyside Park soaking up the sun while entertainers performed musical numbers, speakers recounted the growth of Gay and Lesbian pride, and a Salt Lake City Council candidate stumped for votes. Ben Williams, a member of the Gay and Lesbian Community Council told the crowd that Salt Lake Gays and Lesbians are “true modern pioneers…worthy of the legacy left by Stonewall.”  He was referring to the Stonewall Inn, a Greenwich Village Gay bar that became a rallying symbol for Gay and Lesbian rights after it was raided by New York City police on 27 June 1969.  Gays fought back forcing police to blockade themselves inside. “Twenty Years ago we dared to be queer among even queerer people,” Mr. Williams said.  After Stonewall, “even Salt Lake began to feel the rippling pride’, even if it was later than progress was made on the coast, he said. Utah’s Gay and Lesbian organizations have experienced high and low points in the last two decades.  But in the last 3 years these groups have exhibited “a new energy and purpose.”  This determination was necessary, Mr. Williams said because “freedom and justice must be struggled for…they’re never a finality. Gay and Lesbians understand this. We are extenders of freedom. We are the bravest, strongest, most courageous people I know.” “With compassion and wisdom,” he added Salt Lake’s Gay and Lesbian community “can be “healers and nurturers, dancing in an endless circle of love and liberation.”  Salt Lake City councilman Tom Godfrey welcomed the participants saying “city officials are acutely aware “ of the issues facing local Gays and Lesbians including the need for housing for people with AIDS. He cited the opening of the Shalom House, a residency for AIDS victims, as an example of the city’s concern for people afflicted with the fatal virus that attacks the body’s immune system. Mr. Godfrey added that “the fact that you are here enjoying yourselves without being harasssed proves progress has been made towards acceptance of individual choice has been made.”  Rocky O’Donavan, editor of the Gay and Lesbian Historical Society of Utah, paraphrased by legendary description of the Salt Lake valley saying, “this is the place for all of us.” “We are the new pilgrims.  We are the new pioneers, pioneering a lifestyle in an arid, inhospitable and even deadlier place,” he said. “we have always been here, and we are here now, and we will be here in the future,” Mr. O’Donavan said. Gays and Lesbians have displayed a “heritage worth recovery and safe guarding, through the tribulation of being persecuted, often unmercifully by friends, church, and state.” (SLTribune 4B 31 July 1989)